Inside happiness doesn't exist

We need a change of pace, Sophia you've been writing everything. So I'll change it up a bit.

I look at you,
And you and you,
You are all so happy,
So careless,
So free,
I want to be like that,
I wish I could,
But inside I can’t,
I can’t seem to be,
My heart aches painfully,
And my head says no,
There is no chance for me,
Yet I can’t stop,
Why can’t I be like you guys?
So easy it seems to be,
But inside of me it isn’t,
It doesn’t seem to be.

I want to change,
I really do,
I want to be so happy,
Yet my head won’t let it be,
Please help me,
I need some help,
But no one seems to see,
I’ve never had that chance,
And that doesn’t seem fair,
But life doesn’t seem to care,
I know you say wait,
It’ll happen soon,
But none of you seem to care,
That it’s so hard for me,
To watch you all so happy,
While I almost die inside.

But that’s alright because I’m strong,
Or so I say to be,
In side I’m quite broken,
I’m sad and depressed,
I think of things I shouldn’t,
And dream terrible dreams.
It’s alright though,
Maybe I’ll be okay,
I might be happy someday,
But sorry, it’s not like you care.
And I’ve grown not to notice,
Yes I see you all smile,
However I realize now it won’t happen,
To someone like me,
Because I’m not like you,
I’m cracked inside,
I’m broken and not alright,
I try to change with all my heart,
But it doesn’t seem to care.

So I have finally gotten some courage,
To say what I’ve been hiding,
I’m not happy at all,
And I’m almost crying inside.
But I’ll stand strong and watch,
As you all enjoy,
Because deep down I’m happy for you all,
I just wish you could see the same for me.