Happy Birthday, Sam. Happy 1 Month. Love always.

Better Than Dreams

It doesn’t matter what they say
Because they don’t know
The way it feels
When I look at you.

When our fingers interlock
When our gazes meet
When you look at me, and kiss me so slow
It’s like magic
Pulsing through my veins.

When I read your words
Saying I’m never alone
And I truly believe them
Because I finally have you.

When our hands brush
In parting or passing
When we kiss goodbye
Only ‘till tomorrow
When you look at me
Like I’m truly beautiful
And I stare back, amazed
You’re really there
When we talk and I think
I’m living a dream
But you say it can’t be,
It’s so much better.

Each time in the darkness
With you leaning towards me
I feel my heart skip a beat
Because, in that split second
I know what’s to come.

And when we’re together
The world seems to stop
All I hear is the way you breathe
As I take in your sweet scent
And hope to always be this happy

Every one of these memories
I hold close to my heart
It doesn’t matter what they say
Because when I’m with you
I never want anything
But for you to be as happy
As me.

The Sky isn't the Limit

The wall is high,
High, high up in the sky,
It’s so high it’s above the sky,
Yet we climb and climb.

We make it far, almost over,
But the obstacle is too much,
We fall back down,
And yet we climb and climb.

As we fall to the ground,
We don’t try to get up,
But we must,
So we climb and climb.

The sky seems so far,
Too far to reach,
Every foot is like eternity,
But we climb and climb.

Once again we’re close to the top,
This time you’re by my side,
You push me up,
And I climb and climb.

And then you fall,
I watch you tumble and I go back,
And I’m no longer climbing,
No more climb and climb, but a steep fall for me.

There you are at the bottom of the wall,
Waiting for me,
We no longer need to the wall,
We no longer climb and climb

I hope you'll be there,
Making sure I don't climb,
The wall may be too large,
But I no longer have to climb and climb.

The wall is not an obstacle,
But a realization of me,
I’m my worst enemy,
And the sky isn’t my limit.

Goodbyes/Letting Go.

I can’t believe how long it’s been
More than a year
Since that fateful day
When you told me goodbye
Walked out of my life
That was the day I truly changed.

I thought you treated me so well
Through all those goodbyes
That were only till tomorrow
Now I see how wrong I was
You didn’t mean a word
Of all you said to me
Not a single I love you
Not even a hello
Did I really believe you
When you called me beautiful?

Now I have someone else
Who know to treat me right
He tells me that I’m beautiful
And smart and great and nice
All the things you used to say
That I stupidly believed
But there’s a difference
Between me and you or him and me.

I thought you treated me so well
Through all those goodbyes
That were only till tomorrow
Now I see how wrong I was
You didn’t mean a word
Of all you said to me
Not a single I love you
Not even a hello
Did I really believe you
When you called me beautiful?

I finally understand
We were only kids
We were so confused
Had no idea what came next.

In just this past year
I’ve grown to know so much more
And though it’s taken all this time
The months dragging by so slow
It’s finally the day I’ve realized
You’re my past and I need to
Let go.

Inside happiness doesn't exist

We need a change of pace, Sophia you've been writing everything. So I'll change it up a bit.

I look at you,
And you and you,
You are all so happy,
So careless,
So free,
I want to be like that,
I wish I could,
But inside I can’t,
I can’t seem to be,
My heart aches painfully,
And my head says no,
There is no chance for me,
Yet I can’t stop,
Why can’t I be like you guys?
So easy it seems to be,
But inside of me it isn’t,
It doesn’t seem to be.

I want to change,
I really do,
I want to be so happy,
Yet my head won’t let it be,
Please help me,
I need some help,
But no one seems to see,
I’ve never had that chance,
And that doesn’t seem fair,
But life doesn’t seem to care,
I know you say wait,
It’ll happen soon,
But none of you seem to care,
That it’s so hard for me,
To watch you all so happy,
While I almost die inside.

But that’s alright because I’m strong,
Or so I say to be,
In side I’m quite broken,
I’m sad and depressed,
I think of things I shouldn’t,
And dream terrible dreams.
It’s alright though,
Maybe I’ll be okay,
I might be happy someday,
But sorry, it’s not like you care.
And I’ve grown not to notice,
Yes I see you all smile,
However I realize now it won’t happen,
To someone like me,
Because I’m not like you,
I’m cracked inside,
I’m broken and not alright,
I try to change with all my heart,
But it doesn’t seem to care.

So I have finally gotten some courage,
To say what I’ve been hiding,
I’m not happy at all,
And I’m almost crying inside.
But I’ll stand strong and watch,
As you all enjoy,
Because deep down I’m happy for you all,
I just wish you could see the same for me.

This one's for you, Sam. I love you.

How I Love You
(This One's For You, Sam)

It's so quiet
Alone in this big field
They've gone off ahead
Don't even know
They've left us
I can hear them
I bet you can, too
But we say nothing about it.
You smile at me,
But I know you're broken inside
Everything feels so lonely
Because I have to break someone else.
But your arm is suddenly there
Around me, protecting me
For a time,
Everything feels okay.

It's freezing, running across
From the bleachers to the parking lot.
You have places to be
But you walk so far by my side
Your arm is there again
Keeping me warm
Protecting me.
This part of town
It isn't good to be here so late at night
You stand there, refuse to move
Until you know I'm safe.
The neon sign blinks above you
You tell me to get in the car
Keep warm
You'll see me tomorrow.

There he is, acting like a fool
I can't look, but I can't turn away
You take me in your arms
Watch me cry
As another part of my past
Slips away, so painfully.
"The past," you whisper, "for a reason."
And as a slow song comes on
Everyone leaves
And your arm is still there
Protecting me, as my tears dry.

We talk all night, for so many nights
Everyone says
We look like we're in love
Everyone but us can see it
We're so
Clueless.

I've lost you, for a few days
Walk around with my head down,
As I finally see
How I love you.
"I miss you," I say. "So, so much."
Those days pass
And I find you again.
A hug, smile, laugh
Aren't we just friends?
We walk out together
Your hand is there, free
So I touch it, so gently
And you hold on tight
Our fingers interlock
And I'm finally, finally
Happy.

Better Every Day(:

Yeah. This one is for you, Dan. I don't care if you know.

---------------------

I've had so many chances
I get better every day
But I miss you so and
Every day that we pass
I see your face and I know
You'll never feel the same way.
I know I'm high matience
And I know I complain
But you didn't care enough
To let my heart remain intact
To say it nicely
To bandage the hurt
Instead of deeping the cuts.
You tore open my heart
And now I play it safe
I never get up my nerves
To raise up my hopes
That's the gift you gave.
I can't wish there was more
Because if you start wishing
You're bound to be hurt
And I really couldn't say if I could
Go through that many more times
And end up okay.

Do you remember...?

Do you remember
The Day we first spoke?
I do.

Do you remember
All those messages that said
I love you?
The first time I heard you laugh?
Our first hug?
Our first date?
Our first kiss?
The way we held hands
Like it was truly special,
Not something we did every day.
I do.

Do you remember
The last time you said
ILOVEYOU and meant it?
I do.

Do you remember
The day you said goodbye?
I do.