Inside happiness doesn't exist

We need a change of pace, Sophia you've been writing everything. So I'll change it up a bit.

I look at you,
And you and you,
You are all so happy,
So careless,
So free,
I want to be like that,
I wish I could,
But inside I can’t,
I can’t seem to be,
My heart aches painfully,
And my head says no,
There is no chance for me,
Yet I can’t stop,
Why can’t I be like you guys?
So easy it seems to be,
But inside of me it isn’t,
It doesn’t seem to be.

I want to change,
I really do,
I want to be so happy,
Yet my head won’t let it be,
Please help me,
I need some help,
But no one seems to see,
I’ve never had that chance,
And that doesn’t seem fair,
But life doesn’t seem to care,
I know you say wait,
It’ll happen soon,
But none of you seem to care,
That it’s so hard for me,
To watch you all so happy,
While I almost die inside.

But that’s alright because I’m strong,
Or so I say to be,
In side I’m quite broken,
I’m sad and depressed,
I think of things I shouldn’t,
And dream terrible dreams.
It’s alright though,
Maybe I’ll be okay,
I might be happy someday,
But sorry, it’s not like you care.
And I’ve grown not to notice,
Yes I see you all smile,
However I realize now it won’t happen,
To someone like me,
Because I’m not like you,
I’m cracked inside,
I’m broken and not alright,
I try to change with all my heart,
But it doesn’t seem to care.

So I have finally gotten some courage,
To say what I’ve been hiding,
I’m not happy at all,
And I’m almost crying inside.
But I’ll stand strong and watch,
As you all enjoy,
Because deep down I’m happy for you all,
I just wish you could see the same for me.

This one's for you, Sam. I love you.

How I Love You
(This One's For You, Sam)

It's so quiet
Alone in this big field
They've gone off ahead
Don't even know
They've left us
I can hear them
I bet you can, too
But we say nothing about it.
You smile at me,
But I know you're broken inside
Everything feels so lonely
Because I have to break someone else.
But your arm is suddenly there
Around me, protecting me
For a time,
Everything feels okay.

It's freezing, running across
From the bleachers to the parking lot.
You have places to be
But you walk so far by my side
Your arm is there again
Keeping me warm
Protecting me.
This part of town
It isn't good to be here so late at night
You stand there, refuse to move
Until you know I'm safe.
The neon sign blinks above you
You tell me to get in the car
Keep warm
You'll see me tomorrow.

There he is, acting like a fool
I can't look, but I can't turn away
You take me in your arms
Watch me cry
As another part of my past
Slips away, so painfully.
"The past," you whisper, "for a reason."
And as a slow song comes on
Everyone leaves
And your arm is still there
Protecting me, as my tears dry.

We talk all night, for so many nights
Everyone says
We look like we're in love
Everyone but us can see it
We're so
Clueless.

I've lost you, for a few days
Walk around with my head down,
As I finally see
How I love you.
"I miss you," I say. "So, so much."
Those days pass
And I find you again.
A hug, smile, laugh
Aren't we just friends?
We walk out together
Your hand is there, free
So I touch it, so gently
And you hold on tight
Our fingers interlock
And I'm finally, finally
Happy.

Better Every Day(:

Yeah. This one is for you, Dan. I don't care if you know.

---------------------

I've had so many chances
I get better every day
But I miss you so and
Every day that we pass
I see your face and I know
You'll never feel the same way.
I know I'm high matience
And I know I complain
But you didn't care enough
To let my heart remain intact
To say it nicely
To bandage the hurt
Instead of deeping the cuts.
You tore open my heart
And now I play it safe
I never get up my nerves
To raise up my hopes
That's the gift you gave.
I can't wish there was more
Because if you start wishing
You're bound to be hurt
And I really couldn't say if I could
Go through that many more times
And end up okay.

Do you remember...?

Do you remember
The Day we first spoke?
I do.

Do you remember
All those messages that said
I love you?
The first time I heard you laugh?
Our first hug?
Our first date?
Our first kiss?
The way we held hands
Like it was truly special,
Not something we did every day.
I do.

Do you remember
The last time you said
ILOVEYOU and meant it?
I do.

Do you remember
The day you said goodbye?
I do.

Uhmmm I dont know what this is?

No one likes a girl who lives in her past
But I don’t know how long we can make this last
And I know we’re meant to go our separate ways
And now all it is, is counting the days
Till he comes to realize he hates me so
And he knows its time to let me go
I wish it weren’t true, the voice at night
But these are the feelings I can’t fight
Maybe its true I love another still
And this is only time to kill.

Nostalgia at its greatest...

This one's for you, Dan. What we had will always be a part of me. I hope you accomplish everything you want. This was just a time when I wish I was a part of that.

-----------------

Together we were wonderous
Every minute, second, hour
You were always on my mind.

Now you're gone
Ripped from my grasp
A piece of my heart torn away
To travel with you wherever you go
In your pocket.

I still think of you
So much
All the time
The nostalgia, all that's left of you.

So horribly amazing
And bittersweet
It makes me cry
But keeps me alive.

Everyday I wait
To forget about you
To go a night without asking
"Weren't we meant to be?"
To go a minute without thinking
"I wish you didn't leave me..."

Past Our Sky – The Story of How the Sun Came To Be

YAY MYTHS!



Many years ago, if any person could look far past our sky, it was there that they would see it: the high walls of bright blue that stand behind a veil of clouds. Inside, there was the Sky Kingdom. There, in a palace of the same bright blue, sat a great and powerful ruler upon his throne. He, who ruled the Kingdoms of the Earth and Sky, was the King.
The King was unlike any other in the Sky nor on the Earth. From his palms and the soles of his feet came rays of light, and from beneath his skin came a heat so great, it would burn any other who dared to touch him. But, as any being with an over abundance of power, the King had become esurient for it, longing to control every living being upon his kingdoms.
The Earth knew little of light at the King’s time of greed, as he rarely wandered beyond the walls of the Sky, to share with the beings upon the Earth his rays of light. All the same, the Sky knew only of the overpowering heat and light emanating from the King.
The Earth had frozen deeply and to the core, every last creature upon its surface barely able to live. When the King saw that one of his Kingdoms had collapsed, he looked to the farthest corner of the sky, calling out to the only ruler with more power than he, saying:
“Why do you let my Kingdom of Earth die? Why do you allow this to happen? Are they not important to you as they are to me?”
The most powerful ruler of all responded, saying, “I care for your Kingdom as much as you. You do not care for them, but only what they can do for you.”
“You tell lies,” the King replied, becoming angry. “Lies!”
The most powerful ruler, however, remained calm.
“I tell no lies, and never will I,” he told the King.
“YOU LIE! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ME!” the King became more angry, and more angry yet. The heat of his skin began to rise, and rise, until, suddenly, he saw his Sky Kingdom begin to vanish. “No!” he cried out, in anguish. “My kingdom! My only surviving Kingdom!”
The most powerful ruler looked upon the King, crying out as the last of his Sky Kingdom shattered and vanished around him. Its inhabitants began falling through the veil of clouds, upon the frozen ground of the Earth.
“You have destroyed both Kingdoms which I have given to you. For this, you will be punished. You will sit forever in the sky among the clouds, giving heat and light to the earth, to repay the inhabitants of your former Kingdoms for the damage you have done.”
And so the Earth Kingdom warmed from the tundra it had become. Though the Sky Kingdom was never again rebuilt, the King still sits among the clouds, giving heat and light to all the inhabitants of the Earth.
Look up to the sky, and you will see him, still burning with fury. The Sun.